… he walks off the court, as if he was planning on making that shot all along.

Who am I kidding, I still think it’s hilarious.

My sister has a new blog – she’s doing a really good job with it. Check out Lauren’s site here:

http://laurenismyfriend.com/

Evie and I spent the weekend (without kids) in Kansas City, primarily sleeping late and eating barbeque for as many meals as we could stand. We did tear away from the burnt ends long enough to visit the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art. It is a really good museum with some real masterpieces – my favorite was this painting of John the Baptist by Carvaggio.

I was in the early modern (20th century) gallery which had a bunch of stupid dada stuff in it and I overheard a conversation between two kids (probably 10 & 8 years old) while their mother was browsing:

Older Brother: Do you see this chair, it’s not to sit on. It’s art. (he repeated this a few times to get her attention)

Little Sister: How is a chair art?

Older Brother: Anything can be art.

Little Sister: (going for the little-sister-kill) What about this floor? Is it art?

Older Brother: Anything can be art.

Little Sister: (while dancing in place now) Look at me, I’m dancing on art.

The mother wisely stepped in before it turned into a serious art debate.

Their immensely clever debate came to mind when I saw this new video from the Improv Anywhere group, enjoy:

I will be the first blogger (that I’ve ever heard of) who has the skill and savvy to live blog an event that appeared on TV last night. In a few minutes I will fire up my DVR and live blog a taped version of American Idol.

Why?

Because I am awesome.

What, you question me? Did anyone ask Neil Armstrong why he walked on the moon? Did anyone ask Magellan why did he sail around the world? Did anyone ask Eddie Murphy why did he make Norbit… because they should have. Nevertheless, here is my pointless live blog:

So my roof was killed last year during the three minutes of hell-hail. It turns out that I have to get my roof material and roofing contract approved prior to work. What is this North Korea? It’s bad enough that I pay $350 every year for a pool that I don’t use, but now this. I read the by-laws tonight and saw that I have quite a few restrictions on my house, including:

• My house has to be a certain number of square feet, with a heated living room. Really, heated living room – were these by-laws taken from a development in Arkansas?
• I am not allowed to have glass window panes in my garage door. Damn! I had just picked out some beautiful curtains that matched my Altima.
• No Mexicans are allowed to visit my house after dark. Maybe I misunderstood this rule, but this seems racist.
• “No obnoxious or offensive trade activity can be conducted on any lot in this subdivision.” I guess nobody has noticed my pig brothel in the back yard.
• “no household pets may be kept if they are used for commercial purposes.” I guess my for-hire pet orangutan will have to go live somewhere else. I’ll need to call my friend over to help me lure it back into the house. – What, too soon?

Please note,  one of these is made up. I really do have glass window panes in my garage door.

So, I was taking a nap with Sam today out at the lake. I woke up before him but didn’t get out of the bed because I knew he would get up when I did. For some reason (that I can’t remember) I tried to make a top 10 list (David Letterman style) based on this simple premise: books written by umpires with some version of a pitch count as the main title. I actually came up with 8, but couldn’t remember two of them. Enjoy.

1. Two Balls, No Strikes

An Umpire’s guide to dealing with Erectile Dysfunction

2. Brass Balls, One Strike

Union Negotiating Tactics From an Umpire

3. One Ball, You’re Not Out

An Umpire’s Winning Story About Beating Testicular Cancer

4. One ball, No Strikes

How the World’s Best Umpire became the World’s Worst Bowler

5. Three balls, Four Strikes

How dyslexia cost me my shot at the big leagues

6. Four balls, and you’re out

The hidden culture of homophobia in Major League Umpiring

and filmed it, not much more description necessary than that. OK, I was in Louisiana. I was there for a funeral. Quit asking me questions and watch the video. It’s mildly interesting.

Big up to Jimmy Kimmel Live. One of the funniest videos I’ve seen awhile.